Palm of Your Hand

This is what happens when your husband goes away for one night, you post on your blog twice in two days, like a normal person might, if they had lots of free time on their hands, or didn't have to go to school, or were being paid to blog.

So one of my new(ish) favorite bands is the band Cake. If you've heard anything by them, you've probably heard their song "The Distance," a song which Andrew ruined for me, but I won't ruin it for you. Oh and also, if you used to watch the show Chuck the theme song is an instrumental version of their song "Short Skirt/Long Jacket." So this song that I posted is their song called "Palm of Your Hand," and it's one of my favorite songs of theirs. It has a very pointed message I think, and that message is that you can't say that the future is in the palm of your hands because nothing is permanent. The lead singer sings about how if you knew this particular house, you'd never believe that that house is now gone. Houses are fairly permanent, at least until something unexpected comes along and takes them out. And if houses can be so easily destroyed, who's to say that something can't take out something else we think is permanent? The song is basically saying we can't say that the future is in the palm of our hands because nothing is really in the palm of our hands. It's the nature of this world to ruin our plans. So now that you think my intent with this post was to thoroughly depress you, I'll get to the real intent. We can't say that the future is in the palm of our own hands, because it isn't. "The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men/ Gang aft agley" (I decided to use the actual quote because Alex and I argued one time about whether the quote was "the best laid schemes," "or the best laid plans"). If you've never heard that quote before, you've probably heard it like this: "The best laid schemes/plans of mice and men often go awry." We shouldn't be living in the future, we should be living in the present. We have some control over our present situation, but we have even less control over our future situation. We should appreciate the things and the people we have now, because they're not always permanent. And now I'm going to get a little bit gospel-ey, I hope you don't mind. Our future may not be in the palm of our hands, but it's in the palm of God's hands. And we do have one aspect of our futures in the palm of our hands. We get to decide where we go in the next life. We get to decide, by the choices we make, whether or not we want to return and live with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I think that's the one thing in our lives of which we have complete control. When things don't go as we planned, we shouldn't let it get us down. Things aren't always supposed to go as we planned, that's the whole point. The important part is how we react to things not going as we planned. It's a lot easier to deal with it when we keep an eternal perspective. So yeah, I hope that made sense and it wasn't super depressing, cause I wasn't trying to be super depressing. I was just trying to get you to think about living in the present, but also living with the real end goal in mind. 


Oh and I know a lot of times the things people say (ESPECIALLY women) have double meanings and often it's because of something that's going on in our lives that we say things, but I would just like to assure you that there's no veiled meaning or reason behind this post. My life is going perfectly well. I just have a lot of thoughts, and I just wanted to analyze a song that I like. So don't worry, Andrew and I are doing fine. 
*Wrap*

My Hunger Games Obsession

Sorry I suck so much at blogging. I do have a bit of an excuse though, cause I just had four tests in the past two weeks which was a little bit crazy, but I'm still alive, and now it's over with so that's good.

Anyway, so I first read The Hunger Games trilogy last school year. Stevie had all three books so I borrowed them and read them, and I loved them. I thought they were amazing, but I also wondered how in the world someone comes up with an idea like that. Who writes a story about a country which requires its citizens to give up 24 of their teenagers for a competition in which they kill each other? And that third book was crazy gruesome. I can't imagine how they're gonna make the third movie and keep a PG-13 rating without cutting out quite a few scenes. In spite of this, I did love the books. I will admit that there were a few things I didn't like as much about the series, such as how the third book ends, and Katniss kinda started to bug me in the third book too. Not nearly as much as Bella though, when I read the Twilight books a second time around. I couldn't stand Bella, whereas Katniss is only slightly annoying, and who isn't slightly annoyed about something with every person they know? So anyway, I enjoyed the books the first time I read them but I wouldn't say I was obsessed. And that was that.

Well, with the movie coming out pretty soon, about a month or so ago I decided I wanted to reread the books, so I bought them on my Kindle Fire (which my amazing husband got me for Christmas...he's the best, and I seriously love that little thing (not my husband, the Kindle)) and I reread them. Well, it took me all of about four days to reread the series and I pretty much couldn't put my Kindle down. I all but ignored school for those three days to reread those books, and I fell in love all over again. I think they were even better the second time. The ending still kinda bothered me, and I think it was actually this read through that made me realize Katniss was a bit annoying, but they were still better the second time around. So now after rereading them I'm obsessed. It's a bit of a sick obsession really. The Hunger Games consumes quite a few of my waking thoughts. I bought tickets for Alex and Andrew and I to go see the movie opening night in IMAX (which I'm so excited about that I can hardly contain myself). Andrew's even getting annoyed with me; when I told him I thought I was obsessed he said something like, "Yeah, you are, and I'm getting really sick of hearing you talk about it." I don't think that's exactly what he said but that was the gist of it. I'd really like to go to a midnight showing in IMAX, but I'm dancing in BYU Lu'au in March (BTW you should all come) in the Tahitian and Samoan sections and Tahitian section practices at 6 in the morning on Fridays. Plus Andrew has PT every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6 in the morning so I don't think he would have gone for that. I guess I'll just have to settle for opening night. That's the next best thing right? And if you'd like a little more detail into my crazy obsession, I look up stuff online about the movie all the time, and I even entered a drawing to win all the nail polishes inspired by the movie that China Glaze is coming out with. If you've ever heard the song Pyro by Kings of Leon, I personally think whoever actually wrote the song must have been thinking about The Hunger Games when they wrote it. I'll post it in case you want to listen to it. Oh and also I think the first book might be my favorite, but I liked the Quarter Quell from Catching Fire better than the games in The Hunger Games, so maybe I actually like the second one better...whatever. I'm so obsessed with The Hunger Games that I dedicated an entire blog post to it. So now you know how crazy I am.

Oh, and one thing that I hope they don't do with this movie is play up the love triangle too much. I mean I know it's a huge thing for the trilogy as a whole, but it's not a huge thing in the first book. They can play up the love triangle a little bit, but if it turns into Twilight I will be pissed. The Hunger Games is NOT Twilight, and the two aren't even comparable. I mean, sure they both have a love triangle, but so do a lot of other books and movies and TV shows and basically everything that involves any romance. And one thing that I saw when I was creeping around online is that the producers of The Hunger Games said that none of the actors from Twilight can be in any of The Hunger Games movies. Thank goodness for that. And I'm not making that up, just Google, "Twilight actors can't be in the hunger games." Oh and by the way, I like Peeta a million times more than Gale. I would definitely be Team Peeta, but from what I saw online, the fans of the movie who aren't 13 year old girls also obsessed with Twilight don't want this "team" thing to start, probably because they don't like Twilight.

So basically I'm so so SO excited for The Hunger Games movie. I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to wait another month till the movie comes out, but luckily the older you get, the faster time flies by, so it will be here before I know it. At least that's what I'm gonna tell myself.
*Wrap*

PS- It may sound like I'm a Twilight hater from this post, but I'm really not. I mean, I hate Bella (here's why: she is constantly whining about not wanting Edward and Jacob to get hurt, but one's a frickin' vampire and the other is a frickin' werewolf, what the heck does she think is going to happen to them? ), and I probably wouldn't read the books again, but I don't hate them like all those anti-Twilight people do. And I saw the movies (well the first 3) and I admittedly enjoyed them. I didn't think they were anything to get obsessed over, but I also didn't think they deserved all the hatred they're getting. And I wouldn't mind seeing the fourth or fifth ones.

I can't get this put on this movie's soundtrack since it's already made, but maybe I could get it put on the Mockingjay soundtrack. It fits that book better than the other two I think. Well it fits the series as a whole, but out of the three books it fits Mockingjay best.

Humility*

If there's one thing I've learned in my time here at BYU, it's humility. I wouldn't consider myself a particularly prideful person, but when you're constantly brought low, you start to wonder if maybe you are. I often find myself in humbling situations, as I'm sure many others do, and my tendency when these humbling situations come around is to feel inadequate. I feel inadequate when I look up at that screen in the testing center and see my test score, particularly if it was a test in a class I study 12 hours a week for. I feel inadequate when I find out I'm not as good at Tahitian dancing as I thought I was. I feel inadequate when I just can't seem to figure out how to drive stick, no matter how much Andrew encourages me. I feel inadequate when I just can't seem to do well in a class. I'm a klutz, I can't cook very well, I never really learned the value of hard work, I can't seem to keep anything clean, and I don't think there's anything that I'm particularly talented at. I could probably go on forever, but that would just make me sound like I'm wallowing in self pity, which isn't the purpose of this post. I probably already sound like I'm wallowing in self pity, or like I want you to pity me, but that really isn't my intention. I don't even have a particularly hard life, or anything big to wallow in self-pity about, but life seems to know exactly how to get at me to bring me down. 
So anyway, the point of that was that I find myself in humbling situations a lot. These humbling situations don't help my self esteem much, which has always been pretty low in the first place, but I think I'm finally starting to learn how to pick myself up again. The more humbling situations I find myself in, the easier it becomes to face the next one. I'm also finally starting to learn how much I need Jesus Christ. I realize now I'm inadequate because I'm human, and I'm not supposed to be adequate on my own, or at least not perfect on my own. We like to think we can do it on our own, but eventually (even if it's not in this life) we learn that we really can't. We are absolutely nothing. We live on a relatively small planet, in a rather large solar system, in a rather large galaxy, in a rather large universe, and who knows what's beyond that, if anything. There is so much that is bigger and more important than we are, and yet we are big and important to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We are their children. They know us personally. They know what's going on in our lives, and they care what's going on in our lives. "I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked." That's from Dieter F. Uchtdorf. 
In view of this, I don't let those humbling situations get to me. Well actually I kind of do, because they certainly get me down, but I don't let them get to me by shaking my testimony or diminishing my faith in God. There could be any number of reasons for my humbling situations. They might be consequences of past actions. They might just be a part of life. They might be Satan trying to make me miserable like he is. They might be God humbling me so that I come to Him. I don't know where this quote comes from (other than a handout taped into my scriptures), but someone said, "God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble, or we can be compelled to be humble." Maybe I haven't yet learned how to choose to be humble, and so I'm being compelled to be humble, but from whatever source my humbling comes, it doesn't make the gospel any less true, it doesn't mean Jesus Christ isn't my Savior, and it certainly doesn't mean God isn't there and that He doesn't care about me. I know He's there, and I know He cares about me.  Life can keep throwing these humbling situations at me, and I will keep loving my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and maybe one day I will come to see myself as they see me. Maybe one day I won't feel so inadequate, but until that day comes, I'll keep trusting that there's a reason for everything, and I'll keep trusting God.
*Wrap*