Humility*

If there's one thing I've learned in my time here at BYU, it's humility. I wouldn't consider myself a particularly prideful person, but when you're constantly brought low, you start to wonder if maybe you are. I often find myself in humbling situations, as I'm sure many others do, and my tendency when these humbling situations come around is to feel inadequate. I feel inadequate when I look up at that screen in the testing center and see my test score, particularly if it was a test in a class I study 12 hours a week for. I feel inadequate when I find out I'm not as good at Tahitian dancing as I thought I was. I feel inadequate when I just can't seem to figure out how to drive stick, no matter how much Andrew encourages me. I feel inadequate when I just can't seem to do well in a class. I'm a klutz, I can't cook very well, I never really learned the value of hard work, I can't seem to keep anything clean, and I don't think there's anything that I'm particularly talented at. I could probably go on forever, but that would just make me sound like I'm wallowing in self pity, which isn't the purpose of this post. I probably already sound like I'm wallowing in self pity, or like I want you to pity me, but that really isn't my intention. I don't even have a particularly hard life, or anything big to wallow in self-pity about, but life seems to know exactly how to get at me to bring me down. 
So anyway, the point of that was that I find myself in humbling situations a lot. These humbling situations don't help my self esteem much, which has always been pretty low in the first place, but I think I'm finally starting to learn how to pick myself up again. The more humbling situations I find myself in, the easier it becomes to face the next one. I'm also finally starting to learn how much I need Jesus Christ. I realize now I'm inadequate because I'm human, and I'm not supposed to be adequate on my own, or at least not perfect on my own. We like to think we can do it on our own, but eventually (even if it's not in this life) we learn that we really can't. We are absolutely nothing. We live on a relatively small planet, in a rather large solar system, in a rather large galaxy, in a rather large universe, and who knows what's beyond that, if anything. There is so much that is bigger and more important than we are, and yet we are big and important to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We are their children. They know us personally. They know what's going on in our lives, and they care what's going on in our lives. "I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked." That's from Dieter F. Uchtdorf. 
In view of this, I don't let those humbling situations get to me. Well actually I kind of do, because they certainly get me down, but I don't let them get to me by shaking my testimony or diminishing my faith in God. There could be any number of reasons for my humbling situations. They might be consequences of past actions. They might just be a part of life. They might be Satan trying to make me miserable like he is. They might be God humbling me so that I come to Him. I don't know where this quote comes from (other than a handout taped into my scriptures), but someone said, "God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble, or we can be compelled to be humble." Maybe I haven't yet learned how to choose to be humble, and so I'm being compelled to be humble, but from whatever source my humbling comes, it doesn't make the gospel any less true, it doesn't mean Jesus Christ isn't my Savior, and it certainly doesn't mean God isn't there and that He doesn't care about me. I know He's there, and I know He cares about me.  Life can keep throwing these humbling situations at me, and I will keep loving my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and maybe one day I will come to see myself as they see me. Maybe one day I won't feel so inadequate, but until that day comes, I'll keep trusting that there's a reason for everything, and I'll keep trusting God.
*Wrap*